On our Blog Post titled addictive personality, we spoke about the reasons why people gamble and become compulsive gamblers. Here we will be covering Negative Thinking.
In Nuno’s experience, Gambling is a Symptom, importantly, to find a Solution, you must first identify the Source of the problem.
He call’s it the 3 S’s (Symptom, Source, Solution).
There are 4 main aggravations / sources why someone becomes a compulsive gambler:
After working with hundreds of compulsive gamblers, he usually recognises one or more of these traits for the root of their problem.
Negative thinking is repetitive, unhelpful thoughts. Unwanted and unpleasant, these thoughts cause emotions like anxiety, depression, fear, stress and unworthiness.
Thoughts in our heads, are simply that – just thoughts. When we learn to identify and recognise our negative thought patterns for what they are, and if we step back from them as they occur, they are then simply thoughts, they are not our reality.
Let your thoughts come and go, instead of hanging onto them.
For instance: You wake up one morning and it is raining, on looking out the window, you think to yourself “It’s an awful day” – guess what, you will have an awful day! Alternatively if you wake up, hear the rain, although you still have the same thought, but you dismiss it, you can lie back and listen to the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof, think of how green the grass will be, thereby you are not generating any negativity.
“I’m sure they don’t like me!” is a popular negative thought, this limiting belief, is due to thoughts (Symptom) such as, “I’m not a very interesting person”. Will this negative thought disappear if you distract yourself by playing on your laptop? No it won’t, because as soon as you put the laptop down it will reappear!
The solution to ending negative thoughts does not lie in distraction.
Distraction is OK for a short time – but beware it doesn’t turn into avoidance!
To end negative thoughts, you must change the beliefs that caused these thoughts in the first place.
When we understand distraction is not a solution, certainly, we have made a good start.
While working on a plan to end your negative thoughts, it’s OK to distract yourself, as long as it’s in a healthy way.
Aspirin or paracetamol only mask problems, however, when you take a course of antibiotics, it will deal with the deep roots of the infection.
Learn how to change your emotions:
Firstly your mind presents you with a problem, as a result of your response, your emotions change.
When we are in tune (fused) with our thoughts, we tend to take our thoughts very seriously. We start to believe them, we obey them and we play them out. This is called cognitive fusion.
When we don’t take our thoughts too seriously, we only listen to see if they are valuable or helpful, and we don’t take our thoughts to be the truth and automatically obey or play them out. This is called cognitive defusion.
Make the choice of how you are going to respond to your thoughts.
There are other negative thought patterns, like constantly criticising yourself, “I am not good enough, I need to improve because I am weak and flawed.” These feelings of unworthiness, can completely debilitated a person, they become depressed and even suicidal.
We can become burdened and stuck with negativity, when the mind continually focuses on what is wrong and bad in our life and with ourselves, instead of what’s going well and is great.
First of all, find a secluded spot, free of interruptions or distractions.
Now compare the two feelings…Which one did you prefer?
By removing the source of the negative thoughts you will be able to think more positively.
Think about what we have just read.
How have those negative thoughts been affecting you?
Think about how you are going to make some changes.
Start TODAY and take ACTION